Compassion Fatigue: When Helping Others May Wear You Down or Even Wipe You Out

Any regular Bible reader will soon find out that an important part of a biblical, godly life is devoted to helping the needy. From Moses ( Leviticus 19:10; 23:22; Deuteronomy 15:7,11) and the prophets ( Isaiah 58:1-12; Amos 2:6-7; 4:1; 5:11-12; 8:4-6) , to Jesus ( Luke 4:18-19; Matthew 25:31-46 ) , the New Testament Church ( Acts 2:44-45;4:32-37 ), the Apostle Paul ( Acts 11:27-30; 1 Corinthians 16:1-4; 2 Corinthians 8:1-15) , and other New Testament writers ( James 2:14-18; 1 John 3:16-18), there is no doubt that we cannot truly define what it means to be Christian or Christ-like without reference to taking care of the poor.

Yet every Christian who takes seriously the mandate to serve the needy will be or has been confronted with the reality of “growing weary in doing good” ( Galatians 6:9 ). Caution: Beware of Compassion Fatigue!

Recently I attended a missions conference hosted by Zarephath Christian Church located on the compounds of the Pillar Of Fire denomination in Zarephath, New Jersey. The following day a group of people headed to a gathering in the home of a young couple who had decided on living in as long-term missionaries in Po River, a remote part of Liberia. The husband is an engineer, the wife a nurse, and it was to her that I privately posed this question, “It seems like you're going to be swamped by the size of the need... Have you heard of 'compassion fatigue'?” She responded, “No, but I think I have an idea what it is.”

What is compassion fatigue? It is that feeling of being overwhelmed or swamped by the demands of helping the poor. It can become the feeling of wanting to quit or step back from helping the needy. Just like our physical muscles get tired when overworked, our capacity for good deeds can diminish with extensive use, especially when the demand on our mercy muscles keep being stretched to a certain point.

What does compassion fatigue look like? You begin to doubt if your efforts are being wasted. You ask, “Am I really making a difference?”, almost sure that the answer is “Probably not”. You feel like some or even most of the people you are trying to help are out to “game the system”, take advantage of you. At the onset of compassion fatigue you begin to feel like the recipients of your help do not appreciate the help, or they take it for granted. In fact, they may be outright ungrateful. So you begin to be suspicious in your thoughts towards the needy, harsh in your words even while you still feed, clothe, or treat them. You develop an adversarial attitude towards those who seek assistance. At times you may resort to calling the repeated recipients lazy, ignorant, dependent, losers, having a sense of entitlement, plagued with a welfare mentality, and so on.

Though all Christians are susceptible to compassion fatigue, there are some Christians who at the greatest risk of compassion fatigue:

• Christian doctors, nurses and other medical professionals who volunteer at free clinics or staff such medical centers.
   
• Believers who engage in benevolent services like financial assistance to the poor, operating a clothes closet, soup kitchen, food distribution, or homeless shelter.
   
• Christian counselors and life coaches that provide marriage counseling, lead divorce recovery, minister to the bereaved.
   
• Disaster responders who cater to victims of fires, storms, floods, earthquakes, war, and other forms of disasters.
   
• Long-term missionaries who become callous as a way to shell and shield themselves from constant exposure to the hurts of others.

• Pastors who experience event swings (like baby shower or wedding at one and a funeral the next) as a built-in part of their ministry
   

What causes compassion fatigue? The mundane monotony of the ceaseless help routine is a huge factor. The overzealous helper tries to do too much for too many with so little. The helper uses his/her own financial and other resources, depleting them, and becoming frustrated by constant shortage. Due to impatience or other reason, the helper lacks adequate training, preparation or planning for a specific helping ministry. The helper neglects his/her own need for adequate physical rest and regular spiritual restoration for balanced, consistent serving. The helper develops the super-helper syndrome aka the lone-ranger approach to ministry. The helper becomes critical or suspicious of other helpers not in his/her group, and therefore refuses to connect and network with other help providers. The helper disregards or does not seek godly counsel. In his attitude, the helper becomes proud, aloof, arrogant or detached due to success, which may be real or only apparent. The helper fails to develop a ministry team or a base of supporters he/she can count on for as long as the need for his/her service lasts. The helper does not have or neglects the need for a faithful team of intercessors to uphold him/her in prayer as he/she bears the burden of relieving burdens. The helper seeks to practice the teachings of Jesus on helping the poor without learning to understand the practices of Jesus helping the poor. In other words, the helper never gets beyond what Jesus taught about helping the poor to discover the underlying principles of how Jesus helped the poor. The helper wrongly diagnoses the recipients' situation, or treats symptoms of poverty without dealing with the underlined causes of the recipients' condition.

How do you avoid or recover from compassion fatigue? As you may notice, the cure to compassion fatigue can be found in the causes. Take another look at the negative things in the list above, and do the exact opposite. Key to preventing or overcoming compassion fatigue is adequate training and preparation for the helper combined with constant spiritual development that is rooted in and fed by active, supportive connections within a healthy church family.

A good book will help too. As one who has observed and suffered compassion fatigue more than once, I recommend that every serious Christian helper read When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor and Yourself , the book by Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert.

Remember, as people with hearts of compassion extended through hands of mercy, Christians must be and do whatever is biblically appropriate to steer clear of that place where our love can “wax cold” ( Matthew 24:12 ). Let the gentle exhortation of the Apostle Paul keep ringing deep within the depths of our souls, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” ( Galatians 6:9 ). Paraphrase: Learn how to keep helping the needy without falling prey to compassion fatigue that is just one bad experience away. ~mogama~