Why Father's Day is a Smaller Deal than Mother's Day; My Version of Father's Day
Posted: Thursday, June 16, 2011
by Mogama
http://www.mogama.info
Due to fears in the United States Congress that a national Father's Day would be commercialized like Mother's Day, it took more than half a century for fathers to get their day on America's calendar. Though in 1913 a bill was introduced in Congress to make Father's Day a national holiday, it was not until 1966 that President Lyndon Johnson "issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. Six years later, the day was made a permanent national holiday when President Richard Nixon signed it into law in 1972" (Wikipedia).
Citing the above source, "Father's Day is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society."
If that's what Father's Day was supposed to be about, it seems most Americans have not gotten the message. If Father's Day has proven one thing it is to remind every man once a year that our special day ain't no big deal when paired next to Mother's Day's glamor and giganticity (just consider that a word).
Forecasting 2008, Kristi Hughes, public relations veteran with Manavista PR, said "...the projected consumer spending for Father's Day is close to $9.9 billion, $5.9 billion less than Mother's Day this very year."
If I read that correctly, in dollars and cents, Americans value motherhood at $15.8 billion, compared to $9.9 billion for fatherhood. Money talks, and here it says, "Mothers are primary; fathers are secondary!"
With reference to 2009 Father's Day, Barbara Feldman posted on her website, "...We considered going out to a Father’s Day Brunch, but decided against it. Which got me to wondering … do most families make a bigger deal out of Mother’s Day than Father’s Day?"
Hey, Barbara, the clear answer is Yes. And here are some reasons why I think Father's Day is a smaller deal than Mother's Day. A mother craves greater attention than a father. A child can ignore dad, and dad sees it as no big deal, but try ignoring mom, and you will hear it from her, or worse. If my grown child forgets to get me something on Father's Day, it's nothing to fuss about, but I would warn that child never to treat Mom to forgetfulness on such a scale. All Hell could break lose or freeze over.
It just costs more to pamper a woman than to patch up a guy. Spending more money on mothers on their big day should not sound strange. That's what women are: Pricy! Somehow a woman usually wants to know how much a man spent on her present; the costlier the more appreciated, I think.
And never forget that Mother's Day became a national holiday (1914) long before Father's Day (1972). That speaks volumes, for it bespeaks the perceived margin of significance between male and female in the United States. Women may complain about stuff like "wage discrimination" and "pay discrepancy", but the social reality is that America caters to female more than any other nation on earth. From who has the say-so in abortions to who gets custody of a child, the entire legal system is heavily tilted in favor of the mother.
In black families we put it this way, "If Mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" Women rule. Men are figure heads. If a guy insists he's "the head", guess who's "the neck"...
Want more proof? Look at school enrollment and graduation rate for girls/women in most American schools; contrast that to boys/men. Have you attended a graduation ceremony lately. I did in May, and I noticed the valedictorian and top students were all female. You bet I couldn't resist the urge to compare the number of male graduates to female graduates? The girls dominated hands down, and this is in a small city in the South.
Then take a look at the population of your local jail, prison or penitentiary. Who's leading there? Males. I rest my case.
The value of Mother's Day over Father's Day is but a symptom of the endangered species that males have become in "civilized societies" led by the United States. Hopefully, with programs like "Fathers Matter", we are starting to see the light - that kids and society need dads too. But it will take much more work and money to turn the tide against the trashing of men and fathers that has become a sporty mindset.
Frankly, I really don't care about designating a calendar Father's Day. I'd rather spend my time and effort motivating and coaching men to wake up and lead, and that I am trying to do through the Genesis Men program. Every time I sit with guys one on one or in a Genesis Men huddle - that's Father's Day, and it happens several times a week now. The very need for such a program reveals to me just how far behind our society has left our boys and men, and I don't think Father's Day can change that unless we begin to do Father's Day drastically differently.
Happy Father's Day anyway!
If that's what Father's Day was supposed to be about, it seems most Americans have not gotten the message. If Father's Day has proven one thing it is to remind every man once a year that our special day ain't no big deal when paired next to Mother's Day's glamor and giganticity (just consider that a word).
Forecasting 2008, Kristi Hughes, public relations veteran with Manavista PR, said "...the projected consumer spending for Father's Day is close to $9.9 billion, $5.9 billion less than Mother's Day this very year."
If I read that correctly, in dollars and cents, Americans value motherhood at $15.8 billion, compared to $9.9 billion for fatherhood. Money talks, and here it says, "Mothers are primary; fathers are secondary!"
With reference to 2009 Father's Day, Barbara Feldman posted on her website, "...We considered going out to a Father’s Day Brunch, but decided against it. Which got me to wondering … do most families make a bigger deal out of Mother’s Day than Father’s Day?"
Hey, Barbara, the clear answer is Yes. And here are some reasons why I think Father's Day is a smaller deal than Mother's Day. A mother craves greater attention than a father. A child can ignore dad, and dad sees it as no big deal, but try ignoring mom, and you will hear it from her, or worse. If my grown child forgets to get me something on Father's Day, it's nothing to fuss about, but I would warn that child never to treat Mom to forgetfulness on such a scale. All Hell could break lose or freeze over.
It just costs more to pamper a woman than to patch up a guy. Spending more money on mothers on their big day should not sound strange. That's what women are: Pricy! Somehow a woman usually wants to know how much a man spent on her present; the costlier the more appreciated, I think.
And never forget that Mother's Day became a national holiday (1914) long before Father's Day (1972). That speaks volumes, for it bespeaks the perceived margin of significance between male and female in the United States. Women may complain about stuff like "wage discrimination" and "pay discrepancy", but the social reality is that America caters to female more than any other nation on earth. From who has the say-so in abortions to who gets custody of a child, the entire legal system is heavily tilted in favor of the mother.
In black families we put it this way, "If Mom ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" Women rule. Men are figure heads. If a guy insists he's "the head", guess who's "the neck"...
Want more proof? Look at school enrollment and graduation rate for girls/women in most American schools; contrast that to boys/men. Have you attended a graduation ceremony lately. I did in May, and I noticed the valedictorian and top students were all female. You bet I couldn't resist the urge to compare the number of male graduates to female graduates? The girls dominated hands down, and this is in a small city in the South.
Then take a look at the population of your local jail, prison or penitentiary. Who's leading there? Males. I rest my case.
The value of Mother's Day over Father's Day is but a symptom of the endangered species that males have become in "civilized societies" led by the United States. Hopefully, with programs like "Fathers Matter", we are starting to see the light - that kids and society need dads too. But it will take much more work and money to turn the tide against the trashing of men and fathers that has become a sporty mindset.
Frankly, I really don't care about designating a calendar Father's Day. I'd rather spend my time and effort motivating and coaching men to wake up and lead, and that I am trying to do through the Genesis Men program. Every time I sit with guys one on one or in a Genesis Men huddle - that's Father's Day, and it happens several times a week now. The very need for such a program reveals to me just how far behind our society has left our boys and men, and I don't think Father's Day can change that unless we begin to do Father's Day drastically differently.
Happy Father's Day anyway!
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Mogama, I tend to agree with everything you write about but I would like to disagree with you on this one point. Mother's Day has nothing to do with the gifts. It is the one day I don't make dinner and I don't clean up. It is the one day in the entire year that I can call my own. I think a lot of women feel this way. While both my husband and I run businesses from our home, I still do the majority of the work in the house.
I know it is this way for many women. Can we not have one day -- one blessed day -- where someone waits on us?Please log in to respond to this comment.I am tickled that you agree with me that much, Nancy! My wife should hang out with you!!
No, I don't mean to take away from your fine Mother's Day tradition. I think it's great the way your family does Mother's Day. I was at the jail the week of Father's Day, and one of the guys said his family uses Mother's Day to give Mom the entire day off..."spoil Mom" he said. Every woman should get that.
BTW, please disagree with me more, or I'll get the big head and grow lazy! Enjoy.Please log in to respond to this comment.
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