Valentine’s Day Philosophy of Love; Love Walks on Three Legs
Posted: Friday, February 11, 2011
by Mogama
http://www.mogama.info
Once upon a time I took a course titled Philosophy Of Religion. Looking back, I think a philosophy of love would have served me better. Whereas religion has caused me much confusion and pain, love has never ceased to nurture me, sustain me. Though I still can’t define or explain love, I have given much thought to what love is made of, how love works. In my experience, love seems to stand and walk on three legs: heart, head, hands.
1. A Loving Heart: The Desire of Love
Love lives in and flows from the soul as a strong feeling that pulls one person towards another for no apparently logical reason. This is love’s sentimental leg, the biological or chemical makeup of affection, the emotional side of love. It is love as a drawing force that overwhelms the lover in his or her longing and yearning for the beloved. “I feel drawn to her” sums up the magnetic pull of love.
Whether we call it “infatuation” or “love at first sight”, the loving heart is love’s blindness enlightened, love’s weakness made strong.
2. A Loving Head: The Decision to Love
As “an act of the will”, love has a volitional side. Love is a choice. Love has a choice. The lover chooses to love, and the beloved feels valued to be the “chosen one”. The choice to love one person must be deliberate, a purely voluntary, un-coerced choice free of every hint and trace of manipulation from anyone. Even if a matchmaker is involved, the decision to choose the beloved must be that of the lover only. Anything less is beneath love.
For love to be true and real, this choice must be narrow and exclusive. It must exclude other possible partners that could have been chosen in the past, present or future. The choice must include only one romantically beloved person. If not, the chosen person will feel cheated and cheapened. She will feel like nothing more than one sharing a piece of the love-pie, which has other equally devalued eaters, none of whom will get enough to satisfy their hunger or thirst for genuine, full-strength love.
3. Loving Hands: Deeds of Love
Love is not for the lazy. Love is work. And love works with both hands. Love has a practical side: love in action. Loving hands practice love as concrete deeds often expressed in one of five primary forms: touching, giving, serving, forgiving, and words of affirmation. If there is a magic to love it can be found in those five practices. Lovers who consistently practice them will enjoy the most romantically rewarding relationships.
Love operates at full capacity when all three legs (heart, head and hands) are activated and in full motion. The leg that’s most prone to limping and wild swings is the heart of love. Love as an emotion can be deceptively unreliable. To balance and stabilize love for the long-term, the lover needs to lean mostly on love’s head, constantly thinking about creative ways to remain loving, regardless of changes in feelings, changes in circumstances, and changes in the relationship.
In my relationship with Miss Harriet, I have by chance noticed a discernible pattern, especially when feelings of love elude either or both of us: When we “choose love” (loving head) and “do love” (loving hands), we sooner or later “feel love” (loving heart). When the decision and deeds are in place, the desires return as spring follows winter.
We are now pushing 19 years, and this template still works, as we work it. Happy Valentine’s Day, Honey! I love you and always will. Uhm… I think I feel something as I say that. Am I itching for a touch by those loving hands already? ~mogama~
Love lives in and flows from the soul as a strong feeling that pulls one person towards another for no apparently logical reason. This is love’s sentimental leg, the biological or chemical makeup of affection, the emotional side of love. It is love as a drawing force that overwhelms the lover in his or her longing and yearning for the beloved. “I feel drawn to her” sums up the magnetic pull of love.
Whether we call it “infatuation” or “love at first sight”, the loving heart is love’s blindness enlightened, love’s weakness made strong.
2. A Loving Head: The Decision to Love
As “an act of the will”, love has a volitional side. Love is a choice. Love has a choice. The lover chooses to love, and the beloved feels valued to be the “chosen one”. The choice to love one person must be deliberate, a purely voluntary, un-coerced choice free of every hint and trace of manipulation from anyone. Even if a matchmaker is involved, the decision to choose the beloved must be that of the lover only. Anything less is beneath love.
For love to be true and real, this choice must be narrow and exclusive. It must exclude other possible partners that could have been chosen in the past, present or future. The choice must include only one romantically beloved person. If not, the chosen person will feel cheated and cheapened. She will feel like nothing more than one sharing a piece of the love-pie, which has other equally devalued eaters, none of whom will get enough to satisfy their hunger or thirst for genuine, full-strength love.
3. Loving Hands: Deeds of Love
Love is not for the lazy. Love is work. And love works with both hands. Love has a practical side: love in action. Loving hands practice love as concrete deeds often expressed in one of five primary forms: touching, giving, serving, forgiving, and words of affirmation. If there is a magic to love it can be found in those five practices. Lovers who consistently practice them will enjoy the most romantically rewarding relationships.
Love operates at full capacity when all three legs (heart, head and hands) are activated and in full motion. The leg that’s most prone to limping and wild swings is the heart of love. Love as an emotion can be deceptively unreliable. To balance and stabilize love for the long-term, the lover needs to lean mostly on love’s head, constantly thinking about creative ways to remain loving, regardless of changes in feelings, changes in circumstances, and changes in the relationship.
In my relationship with Miss Harriet, I have by chance noticed a discernible pattern, especially when feelings of love elude either or both of us: When we “choose love” (loving head) and “do love” (loving hands), we sooner or later “feel love” (loving heart). When the decision and deeds are in place, the desires return as spring follows winter.
We are now pushing 19 years, and this template still works, as we work it. Happy Valentine’s Day, Honey! I love you and always will. Uhm… I think I feel something as I say that. Am I itching for a touch by those loving hands already? ~mogama~
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)The title suggested a true expose insider's perverse article about man's lust and sexual drive behind all of the curtains of Valentine's Day.
The expression, A 'third leg', is just one of many ergot colloquies for that idea.
; however a sober eloquent philosphical article followed.
The title fooled me.
I have been called names, like 'arrogant and jaded'.
The rose is a perfect metaphor, symbol for love; it wilts and dies in a few short days.
Affection,
PaulIt thrills me, Paul, that the title drew you in. No, I had nothing perverse in mind on this one. Thanks for dropping by. ~mogama~
Very nice article Mr Mogama. Love is a many splendored thing, and you put it quite well.Indeed, David, love is multifaceted. Parent, prophets, philosophers, poets, musicians, actors, actresses, men and women have not been able to exhaust the subject of love. There is so much more left of it to be explored by us all. ~mogama~
The three legs (main points in your piece) were evident to me... good reflections for a time of year when we do focus a bit more on love - the ideas in your article can help to make it a year round thing rather than just a date on the calendar.Thanks, Marijo, for commenting. ~mogama~
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