Celebrate Marriage: Weddings Not Going Out of Style Anytime Soon

There is such a thing as America's Wedding Industry. At a cost of $20,000 per wedding, some 6,200 weddings take place in the United States on an average day, for an estimated total of 2.3 million weddings per year. That generates about $72 billion annually for the US economy. With all the talk of how “secular” America is becoming, as many as 80% of couples prefer to exchange their vows in churches or synagogues. (Source: SoundVision)

What about the high divorce rate? That may just be couples fleeing bad partners, or seeking a second chance rather than giving up on marriage. Research indicates that 33% of newly weds are previously weds. There is just something magical, mystical, attractive about marriage. So much so that even those who have suffered bad marriage deals still choose to remarry.

The real story is not the 50% or so divorce rate, but those couples who remain married, those who dare to remarry, whether after divorce or the death of a partner. These determined marriage-seekers serve as the levy against heterosexual marriage becoming passé.

Strangely, these big believers in marriage are not “traditional family values” activists who can't wait to vote “pro-family” politicians into public office. They are regular folks who let their commitment to marriage do the talking.

About seven years ago, we were involved in the funeral of one Mr. Cole who was married to his widow for over 60 years. Surprisingly, Mrs. Cole, when asked about the secret of staying married for that long, did not unfold a marital road map that decodes the secret to a six-decade relational nirvana. Instead, she confirmed what many of us suspect: successful couples do not follow any proven script; they simply master the art of helping one's beloved enjoy life, while the lover tags along for the ride.

Currently we have a couple in our church who recently celebrated 44 years of matrimony. We are eager to learn from their unadvertised example. Without letting the Williams and other couples like them know they are the inspiration behind the new effort, we launched Celebrate Marriage to pick their seasoned marital brains. Once a month, usually on a Friday, we come together in a group date night to share stories of how we met, what relationship threats we've overcome, how we've managed to stay married, and why we think there's hope for our marriages to thrive. To spice up the time we serve refreshment, one couple leads an activity designed for couples, we watch a family-friendly comedy DVD, and then we unite our voices in concerted prayer for one another's marriages before heading off to our homes, to a hotel, or to a restaurant where we socialize deep into Friday night.

Just being in the company of couples who are making it can be motivating for newbies like us. The result is often a spark in each couple at the upbeat gathering. I dare say some couples who may have been fantasizing their paths to the divorce court have awaken from their stupor, deciding rather to work things out, work together till death separates them.

Isn't it better to simply celebrate marriage than to cry and complain, moan and groan, wail and whine about how “traditional” marriage is “under attack” and is about to go out of style? ~mogama~