Romantic Laziness: Do You Know Your Romantic IQ?
Posted: Monday, May 03, 2010
by Mogama
http://www.mogama.info
How many people have you run into who complain about their love life or the lack of one? If the truth be known such people show all the signs of being romantically lazy.
If you want to play Romance Police, it is not that difficult to catch the romantically lazy. Just ask some simple questions, and you are likely to hear responses similar to these.
Question: "When is your date night? I mean, when do you and your partner go on your regular dates?"
Answer: "Go on what? We used to have great dates, but that was years ago."
Question: "How do you celebrate the special days in your relationship?"
Answer: "He gives me flowers every year....with a card...and chocolate sometimes."
Question: "When was the last time you enjoyed sex TOGETHER?"
Answer: "Uhhh... Six months ago?" The other partner corrects the first, "I can't remember..."
Question: "When is your next night out, and what do you plan to do?"
Answer: "We were not planning on one. We have a night out every night at home."
Question: "Do you spend a night at a hotel just to enjoy some quality time with each other?"
Answer: "Last time we were at a hotel, they charged $99 per night...that was like four years ago when we attended a conference together. And we shared the room with another couple to cut cost..."
Question: "When you engage in romance, who usually makes the first move?"
Answer: "He does. Isn't it the man's job to take initiative?"
I think you get the picture. Romantic laziness begins with lazy thinking, refusal to put any serious thinking into romance. Being romantically lazy is the same as having a low romantic IQ. When a person assumes that romance can be turned on and off at will, that somehow there's some kind of goose bumps automatic switch or cruise control.
The romantically lazy stops wooing his/her mate beyond the days and nights when they first fell in love. If they ever think about romance in any focused way, their thoughts usually have to do with another person, not their current partner. They become so mechanical towards each other that they do the same things every time, whether the occasion is Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, Valentine's Day, the Kentucky Derby, or their anniversary. The same partner makes the first attempt at romance every time, and he or she has to guess whether the other party is in the mood or not.
What are some of the results of romantic laziness? The couple...
If you want to play Romance Police, it is not that difficult to catch the romantically lazy. Just ask some simple questions, and you are likely to hear responses similar to these.
Answer: "Go on what? We used to have great dates, but that was years ago."
Question: "How do you celebrate the special days in your relationship?"
Answer: "He gives me flowers every year....with a card...and chocolate sometimes."
Question: "When was the last time you enjoyed sex TOGETHER?"
Answer: "Uhhh... Six months ago?" The other partner corrects the first, "I can't remember..."
Question: "When is your next night out, and what do you plan to do?"
Answer: "We were not planning on one. We have a night out every night at home."
Question: "Do you spend a night at a hotel just to enjoy some quality time with each other?"
Answer: "Last time we were at a hotel, they charged $99 per night...that was like four years ago when we attended a conference together. And we shared the room with another couple to cut cost..."
Question: "When you engage in romance, who usually makes the first move?"
Answer: "He does. Isn't it the man's job to take initiative?"
I think you get the picture. Romantic laziness begins with lazy thinking, refusal to put any serious thinking into romance. Being romantically lazy is the same as having a low romantic IQ. When a person assumes that romance can be turned on and off at will, that somehow there's some kind of goose bumps automatic switch or cruise control.
The romantically lazy stops wooing his/her mate beyond the days and nights when they first fell in love. If they ever think about romance in any focused way, their thoughts usually have to do with another person, not their current partner. They become so mechanical towards each other that they do the same things every time, whether the occasion is Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, Valentine's Day, the Kentucky Derby, or their anniversary. The same partner makes the first attempt at romance every time, and he or she has to guess whether the other party is in the mood or not.
What are some of the results of romantic laziness? The couple...
- consistently goes to bed at different times, though their schedule does not demand it.
- rarely socializes together...preferring to hand out with other people than with each other
- has best friends outside of their relationship
- has no clue what to do on a special day, or doing the same routine for every occasion
- makes no efforts to spice up their romantic life...they think subscribing to Play Boy magazine or a porn website is an investment in their love life
- seeks no help from friends or professionals about improving their romantic life
- depends solely on their emotions or time schedule to drive their romantic interest in each other
- barely notices each other's attractiveness...they only hear someone else praising the person they now take for granted
- envies another couple who seems to enjoy one another
- daydreams about being with someone else
- seeks refuge in pornography
- watches love scenes in a movie or television show and feels sorry that their love life will never be that way.
- has given up hope of a better romantic life
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Ahhh, I wanted to take a TEST! Thanks for writing this one and giving all something to think about. Since we never had kids (I know we are missing a lot too) we have had time to talk and walk and have "date night" through our 25 years of marriage. I am guessing the couples with an empty nest might need the most help here.Sorry, Marijo. I'm still working on the Romantic IQ Test... Thanks for commenting. ~mogama~
The Beatles lyrics said it better than I could:"She was a working girlNorth of England wayNow she's hit the big timeIn the U.S.A.And if she could only hear meThis is what I'd say.Honey pie you are making me crazyI'm in love but I'm lazySo won't you please come home.Oh honey pie my position is tragicCome and show me the magicof your Hollywood song.You became a legend of the silver screenAnd now the thought of meeting youMakes me weak in the knee.Oh honey pie you are driving me franticSail across the AtlanticTo be where you belong.Honey pie, come back to me.I like it like that,Oohh, I like this kinda, hot kind of music.Hot kind of music, play it to me,Play it to me Hollywood bluesWill the wind that blew her boatAcross the seaKindly send her sailing back to me.Honey pie you are making me crazyI'm in love but I'm lazySo won't you please come home."Thanks, Paul, for sharing the Beatles song here. ~mogama~
You're right, it doesn't have to be that way at all. What a great article, sir! If only everyone in love would realize it will only last forever if it is nurtured.Exactly, Michael. Nurturing love is the sure cure to romantic laziness. Thnx 4 commenting. ~mogama~
Nice one Sir, reminds me of something similar in my life too...But there's nothing much to worry about..Thanks for sharing this wonderful article Sir. You write awesome...Thanks, Reshma, for reading and for your kind words of encouragement. Enjoy-:) ~mogama~
What a great awakening article this one is...hmmm exactly this is what I think the situation with many people including me myself facing. I need to reread this one one more time and think about it.Thanks !RegardsHildaThanks, Hilda, for reading, commenting. I'm glad you found this article helpful. ~mogama~
Good points Mogama- but most couples who end up like that were never really "in love" anyway- they just thought they were, and they soon lost whatever it was they had. True Love never gets lost- it continues to evolve with each passing year, overcoming life's obstacles. Interesting article- Thanks- Always- EllaYes, Ella, though true love needs effort and work on the part of the lover and the beloved. Thanks for commenting. ~mogama~
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