Valentine's Day in Four Acts
Posted: Saturday, February 13, 2010
by Mogama
http://www.mogama.info
Look at your life through the prism of love. If the assignment was
not to define or describe love but to reduce love to some specific
deeds or acts, what would those acts be? Observe love between parent
and child, love between two friends, love that a guy has for his gal,
even love that one stranger shows another. What would be the acts
that repeat themselves over and again as deeds of love? What would be
the common threads of love not just felt as sentiments or spoken with
words but love seen in action?
As I discerned love in its concrete forms and expressions, I
conclude that people use four deeds to show love. These are acts of
Valentine, whether they are expressed on Valentine's Day or at any
other time.
The First Act of Valentine: GIVING.
Love gives. Every episode or story of true love is a story of giving. It may be lovers scouting the marketplace to find one more special present for each other. Or it may be lovers willingly and gladly giving their bodies to each other in romantic embrace. Giving manifests love.
Whether it is God giving Jesus to the world... Whether it is the latest manifestation of The Good Samaritan giving his time and money to relieve a stranger... Whether it be a husband giving a bouquet of flowers to his bride... If love is the song, then giving is the beat that sets the rhythm. As someone has brilliantly said, "You can give without love, but you cannot love without giving."
The Second Act of Valentine: SERVING.
Love serves. Love irons and packs the clothes for the beloved. Love cooks a meal, though the cook may not even be hungry or be first to eat. Love cleans the room, even a room where the lover may not sleep. Love pushes the wheelchair for a now disabled spouse. Love does the dishes without noticing how many times one has done them this week. Love steps into the cold to scrape the snow from the car, to ready the vehicle for the beloved to drive a warm car in winter's cold.
For the most part, the true lover is an eager servant, diligently seeking ways to lend a helping hand, even when the beloved has not directly requested help. Serving models love.
The Third Act of Valentine: FORGIVING.
Love forgives. Whenever you find a loving couple with a healthy relationship, a couple that enjoys each other's company, and not simply cope with or endure each other... And when you find out that this couple has been together for a decade, two decades or longer... If you were to peal one of them aside and ask either of the lovers separately, "How do you do it? What is the secret of your great relationship?" Don't be surprised to hear the same answer from either of the couple: "Forgiveness is our secret. We are quick to forgive and forget the wrong the other has done. We don't keep grudges. We leave no room for hurt feelings to simmer and sour. We shut out bitterness before it can take root. We refuse to harbor resentment in our hearts. No offense survives beyond 24 hours without burial."
A devotion to tireless forgiveness is the spirit that fuels and fans the dimming flames of love so they return with a brighter blaze that cuddles and warms the affection of the lover and the beloved. Forgiveness is the mystery of love.
The Fourth Act of Valentine: FAVOR.
Love shows favor. Exceptional lovers have this in common: Each understands he or she does not deserve the other. "You didn't fall in love with me, because I measured up to a list of what you wanted in a lover. You did me a favor when you chose to love me. I did not earn you. You are life's greatest favor to me."
This attitude prompts the lover to render to the beloved gestures and presents that the beloved may not have earned. In fact, the great lover will do something really nice or wonderful when the beloved has done something that deserves retribution.
Favor goes deeper and reaches higher than forgiveness: The lover forgives by not settling scores, by not giving tit for tat. But more than that, the lover shows favor by returning good for evil.
Example: The lady comes home, and the guy was too busy to notice, kiss or hug her. She goes into the room, comes back out, and says to him, "I bought this new pair of socks for you."
Favor is the miracle of love. Favor is the flavor of love. It adds undeserved taste, unexpected taste to love.
I consider these four acts of Valentine my relentless pursuit in the quest to grow in love beyond the ordinary.
The First Act of Valentine: GIVING.
Love gives. Every episode or story of true love is a story of giving. It may be lovers scouting the marketplace to find one more special present for each other. Or it may be lovers willingly and gladly giving their bodies to each other in romantic embrace. Giving manifests love.
Whether it is God giving Jesus to the world... Whether it is the latest manifestation of The Good Samaritan giving his time and money to relieve a stranger... Whether it be a husband giving a bouquet of flowers to his bride... If love is the song, then giving is the beat that sets the rhythm. As someone has brilliantly said, "You can give without love, but you cannot love without giving."
The Second Act of Valentine: SERVING.
Love serves. Love irons and packs the clothes for the beloved. Love cooks a meal, though the cook may not even be hungry or be first to eat. Love cleans the room, even a room where the lover may not sleep. Love pushes the wheelchair for a now disabled spouse. Love does the dishes without noticing how many times one has done them this week. Love steps into the cold to scrape the snow from the car, to ready the vehicle for the beloved to drive a warm car in winter's cold.
For the most part, the true lover is an eager servant, diligently seeking ways to lend a helping hand, even when the beloved has not directly requested help. Serving models love.
The Third Act of Valentine: FORGIVING.
Love forgives. Whenever you find a loving couple with a healthy relationship, a couple that enjoys each other's company, and not simply cope with or endure each other... And when you find out that this couple has been together for a decade, two decades or longer... If you were to peal one of them aside and ask either of the lovers separately, "How do you do it? What is the secret of your great relationship?" Don't be surprised to hear the same answer from either of the couple: "Forgiveness is our secret. We are quick to forgive and forget the wrong the other has done. We don't keep grudges. We leave no room for hurt feelings to simmer and sour. We shut out bitterness before it can take root. We refuse to harbor resentment in our hearts. No offense survives beyond 24 hours without burial."
A devotion to tireless forgiveness is the spirit that fuels and fans the dimming flames of love so they return with a brighter blaze that cuddles and warms the affection of the lover and the beloved. Forgiveness is the mystery of love.
The Fourth Act of Valentine: FAVOR.
Love shows favor. Exceptional lovers have this in common: Each understands he or she does not deserve the other. "You didn't fall in love with me, because I measured up to a list of what you wanted in a lover. You did me a favor when you chose to love me. I did not earn you. You are life's greatest favor to me."
This attitude prompts the lover to render to the beloved gestures and presents that the beloved may not have earned. In fact, the great lover will do something really nice or wonderful when the beloved has done something that deserves retribution.
Favor goes deeper and reaches higher than forgiveness: The lover forgives by not settling scores, by not giving tit for tat. But more than that, the lover shows favor by returning good for evil.
Example: The lady comes home, and the guy was too busy to notice, kiss or hug her. She goes into the room, comes back out, and says to him, "I bought this new pair of socks for you."
Favor is the miracle of love. Favor is the flavor of love. It adds undeserved taste, unexpected taste to love.
I consider these four acts of Valentine my relentless pursuit in the quest to grow in love beyond the ordinary.
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Someone once left a butcher store beef heart in my mailbox as a presumed comment on Valentine's Day.Your concepts in this piece are certainly more wholesome and digestible."...a butcher store beef heart in (your) mailbox..."? I just won't try to figure out what the person was thinking... Thanks, Paul, for commenting. ~mogama~
You can give without love, but you cannot love without giving. How true, how true. Thanks for sharing another great article. Linda DThanks, Linda, for your appreciation. ~mogama~
Beautiful and thoughtfully written piece. Thanks Mogama! My hubby is getting a cold for Valentine's Day and even my natural stuff which usually turns colds around isn't working for him!It seems like you have an opportunity there, Marijo, to love on your hubby, though Valentine's Day seems less than perfect this year. More love to you. ~mogama~I am making him pancakes, scrambled eggs and ham this AM - in bed if he wants it! He is hardly ever sick.That's one blessedly loved guy, thanks to you, Marijo. With love like that your beloved hubby should heal quite speedily. ~mogama~
Hi Mogama.
The message is beautifully conveyed. Thank you for sharing this brilliantly written piece. "Favor is the flavor of love. It adds undeserved tasted, unexpected taste to love." -- great message!Happy Valentine's to you and yours,NenitaThanks, Nenita, for your praise. Happy Valentine's Day to you as well. ~mogama~
Excellent presentation of Valentine's day, Mogama !
Wish I had written this article !
Great article and wishing you and your wife a very happy Valentine's Day !
'Relentless pursuit' is exactly right. Well done, as always, sir. It's a pleasure to read your words. Thanks for sharing this.Thanks, Michael, for reading. Love is a marathon, and I'm in it for the finish line, by the Spirit's empowerment. ~mogama~
" If love is the song, then giving is the beat that sets the rhythm." How very true, Mogama. Thank you for reminding us.I appreciate your comment. ~mogama~
This is very moving, Mogama. I'm sure what you have said relates to all kinds of relationships, not just romantic relationships/partnerships.I appreciate your kind words, Zhana. Yes, I think these acts apply to "all kinds of relationships". ~mogama~
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